They Laughed At My Theories

Play this first please, and then scroll down.























Here it is, the genesis of your destruction!

Who Let The Dogs Out - Baha Me...

Text version for those with slow bandwidth (It's awfully time consuming to send audio files from the Moon base to my Earth lab so I understand wholeheartedly.):

"Dear citizens of Earth,

It has at last become my duty to inform you wretched lot that the end of days is nigh. Even now as I speak, your pathetic world is in deep peril. Soon my machines will arrive from my fortress on the Moon and bring doom upon the soil you call your home. Laughter

Soon you will rue the day that you rejected Dr. Fabian X's theories! Finally, I shall have my revenge on those who mocked and dismissed me. Certainly my over-sized head provided endless amusement for the small-minded fools, those who could not see that one with an intellect as glorious as mine should be revered. Yes, as a young scholar, my pride often got in front of my better judgment, but it was for the greater good of science! So my first exhibition with experimental jet fuel led to the deaths of many, but it imbued me with even greater brain capacity. It was out of the ashes of the accident and years of physical therapy, that I truly was reborn as the genius that finally will bring about world peace. World in pieces! Laughter

The apocalypse that awaits you will be a slow burn. I shall enjoy it from afar as I watch you destroy yourselves. They said I was mad, but it will be you, the citizens of the world who are driven into madness. Laughter

What is my brilliant plan, you might ask? Why, to cover every square inch of the globe with giant audio amplifiers playing the same noise for eternity. Seriously, eternity, that's a really long time, those plutonium batteries have a half-life of over twenty-four thousand years. No cave or crevice will be safe, for my robots are equipped to drill into the ground and amplify the soil itself. After spending months in my lab observing the effects of my grand scheme on animals, it is clear that nothing alive is immune to the insanity that occurs after hearing the same sound on loop continuously. By my hypothesis, most lower animals will be driven to kill each other frenetically and humanity will descend into rioting mobs until there is no one left on your horrendous planet. Laughter

Enclosed is a sample of what is yet to come.
Best Regards, Earth Scum! Laughter and then wheezing. Hrm... yes... that'll show them. Now, where is the stop button? Blast, cursed lack of tutorial. Ah there it."